It is pretty much the process I follow when I walk into a kitchen for the first time.

Make industrial strength coffee. Take a deep breath. Put it down and try to remember where it is.

What tech do I have? What prep equipment is there? What pots and pans and, pretty please, where are the induction cookers because gas is simply not programmable. Why aren't there enough clocks on the walls? Are there electric ovens: gas is moist and electric ovens are arid. I can add wet but I can't add dry. I prefer to avoid the problem of overly wet ovens by preventing it in the first place. It's not only about having tech, it's about having a deep understanding of the tech and its advantages and limitations.

Find the coffee. Gulp.

What people do I have? What are their specific skills? Show me. Build teams, even if they aren't what people think they do best. Someone might make the most perfect dumplings but when I want 150 in an hour, someone who takes two minutes for each is in the wrong place. (solution in KL: go to a little road in Pudu, bring back the superfast old man who sits outside his family's micro-cafe.)

Allocate someone to know exactly where my coffee is at all times.

Check front of house. Get the crockery, glasses and cutlery and big bowls of hot water. Wash everything until it sparkles. Check every tablecloth. Check chairs, too. Holes and stains? Replace. Wash service trays and fit unmarked paper liners (not, please, doilies). Make sure there's a stock of liners so a fresh one is used every time.

Has the food arrived? Sort it into stations, allocate the teams.

Show how I want prep done for each item. Set teams to prep. Put the stuff that takes a long time to cook - e.g. brisket or mutton - in with at least seven hours to service.

Complain the coffee has gone missing.

Divide the prep teams into cooking and plating.

Divide serving team into food and drinks. Make sure drinks are at the correct temperature.

Food service team to set up dishes for plating team making sure the correct number of dishes are queued.

Do a test of everything.

Find the ****ing coffee. Everyone stand still. Take a deep breath. Count to ten. Breathe out slowly. Breathe in.... GO!

And that's how we serve 11 canapés, twice, plus one more substantial dish to 70 people in three hours starting at 8 am, food at 7-10pm and, because everyone cleans up their own station, everyone out by 11 so the kitchen is handed back without much sign I've been there but with a kitchen and front of house crew who are knackered but happy. And know they could do it all again the next day.

It's not the subject that matters; it's knowing how to make workable systems that can be replicated day after day after day so instead of becoming a problem, they become business as usual.

I'm Nigel Morris-Cotterill. I'm a financial crime risk strategist and I make complicated things easy to understand. And I know my way around a kitchen.