For sure it’s not because I find blurting out this kind of stuff cathartic. Actually, from a traditional English upbringing, putting my feelings into the public eye is very uncomfortable.
No, it’s because I’m not a hard arse but I really don’t scare easily. Most of my life until I fell down a mountain, I was an adrenaline junky long before the phrase came about. Then I looked for exciting things to do that I couldn’t fall off.
I’ve walked around slums against all advice, travelled in minivans and on the kind of trains that the police don’t get on. I’ve been in places with the kind of people who don’t sit down because their guns get in the way. It’s how I’ve always lived my life, except twice. Once when my handbag was snatched from my hand and now.
Now, I’m scared to go out.
I write this so you don’t feel bad if you are scared too.
It’s true. The fear of fear is worse than the fear itself.
But continued isolation when we don’t need it is worse and it’s doing us harm.
Be safe, stay home – but not all the time.
*Don’t bother looking. I made them up. On second thoughts, if you are reading this ten days after it’s written, maybe do look. Someone’s probably done it by now.
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© 2020 Nigel Morris-Cotterill
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